"A man's identity is not best thought of as the way in which he is separated from his fellows but the way in which he is united with them."People are meant to have certain characteristics that define their identity. I personally believe that if you care for a person, befriend a person, commit to a person or for that fact even emotionally relate to a person it is because of who that person is when you form a bond with them.
Having said this, what I fail to understand is why some people try to change others for their own benefits or according to their likes. I feel that if you connect with a person and decide upon befriending them or taking it to the next level, then it is your responsibility to accept that person for who he/she is and just as he/she is.
It is no wonder that there are an increasing number of broken relationships these days. I believe it is purely because of the demands placed by one person on another to change. It is quite obvious that after changing a person you may not share the same bond with them because they are no longer the person you identified with in the first place.
I do realize that this has exceptions. Sometime some people have some compulsive behavior problems or habits. In that case it becomes the moral duty of the friends or significant others to try and help that person to improve themselves instead of leaving them altogether. Moreover, a universal fact remains that nobody is perfect and that everyone has his/her flaws. Hence, what is important is not assessing a person on their flaws but their qualities.
In the end, the basic fact I wish to elude to is that before emotionally attaching yourself to a person be sure that you know about both their good points and bad, and once you commit either in terms of a friend or a partner then it is that your job to be with them through thick and thin.
It is said that, "every man is the architect of his own character", thus attempting to change a person for personal self interest or satisfaction takes away that person's right to be who they are meant to be.
1 comment:
Unless one is accomodating and is able to relate to differences as a manifestation of another person's distinct identity, it's difficult to resist the impulse to change another in a way one can relate to the person.
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